Bonding with Steven

Vocabulary Lessons

Over the past few days we were allowed to spend an extra hour a day visiting Steven since we are not allowed to visit Evan because of his cold. It’s been nice to spend 2hours a day with Steven rather than just an hour that we’ve had since we’ve been in Cherkasy. The hour always flew by and never seemed like enough time. Since we’ve had some extra time with Steven we have been playing games with him that would get him more familiar with the English language. We have a doodle drawing board that I would have him draw different objects from the picture cards that we have. As I hold up a card with an object on it I repeat the name of the object as he would draw it on his doodle pad. Steven doesn’t mimic us when we say a word over and over like Evan does, but he will catch on quick enough.

Steven is very active and loves to play with balls, balloons, cars, and just like Evan and Andrew, he loves to climb. The director, Maria, of the orphanage wants us to keep him as calm as possible since a couple of days when we returned him to his groupa he was sweating. She is afraid he will get sick right before we take him out of the orphanage, therefore, she has asked us to keep him from being so active.

So we have been doing the best we can to keep him calm by putting Legos together with him, painting ornaments for our Christmas tree, putting Christmas decorations together, putting jigsaw puzzles together, playing with the LeapPad and we have also brought our computer to show him a 30 minute educational dvd. We are teaching him to count in English, along with the dvd. As we count in English he counts in Ukrainian/Russian. He is saying Hello, Bye, Please, Yummy, Mama, Papa and Andrew in English. It’s adorable when he says Andrew’s name because he rolls the “r” in Andrew’s name.

As soon as one activity ends, Steven is up running around, climbing on and under the furniture and Andrew is right behind him. As soon as this happens we do our best to distract the boys and lead them into the next activity. It’s a little difficult to keep 4 and 5 year old boys still, therefore, the last 10 minutes we just let them play. Andrew and Steven had a ball playing together and hiding under the youth beds.


Gone Fishing

Two Peas in a Pod


Silly Boys


Mirror Image

Robert bought a remote controlled Shelby Mustang car that has the controls on a watch. Alla showed him the price that equaled $20.00 US dollars and Robert just smiled and said that he wanted to buy it anyway. Robert being the kid himself, especially when it has to do with Shelby Cobras or Mustangs cars used the excuse of Andrew and Steven when he bought the car. Of course, I knew differently and had to smile. As Alla would say, “Boys will be boys and they have to have their toys.” Boy is she right on that. Robert brought the remote controlled car so Steven and Andrew could play with it during our visitation time. Well of course it was a big hit and both boys couldn’t wait for it to be their turn again.

Driving Lessons

Daddy Demonstrating

We shared our photo album again with Steven to get him familiar with our immediate family members as well as pictures of our home. This way he will feel a little more comfortable when we arrive home and have a sense for who’s who in our family. When we showed him pictures of his grandmothers we told him Babushka (meaning grandmother) and then the grandmother’s name Andrew calls his grandmothers….such as Babushka Nana, Babushka Mom mom, and Babushka Grandma. So to all of our children’s grandmothers, don’t be alarmed if Steven and possibly Evan call you Babushka.

We then showed him a picture of Evan again to see if he would respond this time. He didn’t respond even when I said Evan’s name in Ukrainian. When I showed Evan a few days ago, Steven’s photo and said Steven’s name in Ukrainian, Evan responded by saying, “Da”, which means yes. So Evan seems to remember his older brother Steven, but we are not sure if Steven remembers Evan or maybe Evan has changed a bit in his facial features in the past year and a half where Steven doesn’t recognize him. We’re not sure, but we will definitely video tape the boys meeting again for the first time in a year and a half. It surprises me that Evan somewhat remembers Steven and that Steven is not responding at all regarding Evan. I pray that the reunion of the boys will go well and that the union of our family as a whole is a peaceful, smooth, joyful and successful transition for all of us.

Count Down til Take off

Stop Steven...it's going to POP!!

This will be our last week of visiting our sons in the orphanage before we will be allowed to take them home. We are so looking forward to completing our adoption and starting our life as a family. Saturday will be our 10th day after court, therefore, Monday, December 15th we will be given the court decree stating us as their parents and then we can go to the birth certificate offices to change their names and state us as their parents. Once we have their birth certificate we will have the right to remove them from their orphanages. After we receive their birth certificates we can then apply for their passports, which might take a few days to receive. After receiving their passports we can go back to Kiev to get their medical examinations done for their visa and then go home. The Italian couple’s son’s passport only took a couple of days to receive, therefore it looks like we will be home the Sunday or Monday before Christmas as long as there is availability on the airlines for all of us. We are checking into flight availability now. Hallelujah! We’re so excited and can’t wait to be home and in our own beds.

One thing that is an issue now is that Evan’s cold has turned into bronchitis and we are not allowed to visit him until Monday. The orphanage director wants to make sure he is healthy and that we stay healthy as well by the time we are allowed to take him home. The orphanage doctors are taking good care of him giving him breathing treatments, medicine, antibiotics, warm compresses on his back as well as his vitamins, fruits and juices. There is nothing else we can do but to pray for Evan to be well. So let’s all stand in agreement that Evan is completely healthy and well in Jesus name.


Daddy teaching the boys to use static cling to attach balloons to the wall.

The Italian couple’s 10th day after court was Monday and Tuesday they took their little boy out of the orphanage and headed back to Kiev to wait for their son’s passport there. Since it is two thirds less expensive to wait here in Cherkasy we will probably wait here for the boys passports and then head to Kiev. We were offered to move into the apartment where the Italian couple was staying since it has a separate bedroom and is closer to Evan’s orphanage. Since we were in an apartment were we were all sleeping on sofa beds in the living room with no separate bedroom we opt to move again. So we packed up our things and moved across the courtyard to a bigger apartment. It’s easier to get Andrew down for naps and bedtime having a separate bedroom and all.

When we arrived in the new apartment, we realized that the Italian couple’s bags were still in the apartment. When they arrived to pick up their bags they were quite surprised to see us in their apartment. Their translator was with them and we were chatting with her as the new Mama and Papa were changing their son. Robert and I had to laugh when their translator told Robert that he speaks poor English. It was funny coming from a Ukrainian Translator who spoke some English. I had to laugh and tease him for the rest of the evening that I was going to mention it on the blog. LOL. I know Robert’s sisters and going to have a good laugh and a field day about this one when we get home.

Bonding with Evan

Pull us around FASTER Daddy! This is FUN!

We all are bonding well with Evan this past week and we have seen some improvements with Evan bonding to us. Andrew is learning to be the big brother to Evan by sharing his toys and his Mama and Papa with Evan. Robert and I have learned to share our attention with both Evan and Andrew so we keep the peace within the family. Andrew is learning that having brothers to play with can be a lot of fun. Today, Evan and Andrew were being pulled around the sunroom (not heated, that’s why we have our coats and hats on) by Papa. Robert was having just as much fun as the boys were having and neither Andrew or Evan wanted to end the play session today. They both were crying and putting up a fuss when it came time to return Evan to his groupa.

Brothers Having fun.

Thumbs up from Daddy

Yesterday and the day before the weather was nice enough (sunny & 45-50 degrees F)to take Evan and Andrew outside for a walk and for some fun in the orphanage playground.
As I pushed Andrew and Evan on the swings it was so sweet to see Evan laugh and smile as I was pushing him from the front of the swings.


Swing me higher Mama!


WEEEEEE! Mama and Evan Bonding.


COO COOO!!

They also had a little wooden playhouse in the playground and we pretended that I was the customer and Andrew and Evan were the ice cream parlor workers. Evan was so cute how his face lit up with a smile when I surprised him on the other side of the window curtain and said “Coo, Coo.”


My Boys.


Mama and Evan.



I really feel like I broke through a barrier today and bonded so well with Evan and he with me. In the adoption books that we have read, it tells how a mother when she gives birth to her baby the bonding starts immediately when they look into each others eyes as the mother is holding them and feeding them. In an adoption in order to bond with the child, no matter how old he or she is, it’s best to do some eye contact games where the child and parent look into each others eyes while they are playing and when the parent feeds them.

Daddy you are so funny!

Brothers bonding.


Over the past couple of weeks Evan gets real temperamental when I take a toy away to return him to his groupa, or pick him up when he doesn’t want me to. Afterwards he’ll cop an attitude and give me the cold shoulder and walk away from me because I corrected him or did something he didn’t want me to do. Alla says that he is testing me. That could be but when you are trying to bond with the child and deal with toddlerhood it’s a bit disheartening. The Italian couple is going through the same challenges with the child they are adopting.

This week, however, I’ve been focusing on doing eye contact games and activities whenever possible. When we played ice cream parlor in the playhouse I made sure I was at Evan’s eye level to make good eye contact with him as well as when I was pushing him on the swings. That is why I was pushing him from the front more so than pushing him from behind. We also brought stickers with us and would put the stickers on each others noses so Evan would have to look at us in order to take the sticker off of our noses and visa versa. These games have certainly helped and I feel we all have connected with Evan on a deeper level.